if he isn’t calling you then it’s okay to feel
this destroyed over a boy but remember
he did you a favor i know you think this is
the end but it is also the beginning it is also
cleaning up after yourself you can’t keep
crawling inside other people sooner or later
the heap of clothes at the foot of your bed
is going to stand up on its own and talk back
you can’t just wash your hair in the sink
forever when there are people with real
problems who still remember to recycle
and when did you become so soft? trying
so hard to look sexy in photos that you come
off as confused eating nothing but waffles
is not a diet even if there are blueberries
don’t ask just tell about the kinds of shocking
things you find under your nail beds your
mother warned you about pain that would be
there one day and then gone the next she
warned you about it all
I thought leaving you would be easy,
just walking out the door
but I keep getting pinned against it
with my legs around your waist and it’s like
my lips want you like my lungs want air,
it’s just what they where born to do so
I am sitting at work thinking of you
cutting vegetables in my kitchen
your hair in my shower drain
your fingers on my spine in the morning
while we listen to Muddy Waters, I know
you will never be the one I call home
but the way you talk about poems
like marxists talk of revolution
it makes me want to keep trying.
I’m still looking for reasons to love you.
I’m still looking for proof you love me.
Do you love me enough that I may be weak with you?
When your husband returns
soaking of her
do not question him
when his lies fill the room
soaking up the air,
his easy smile painting his face,
you gather yourself with a smile.
you prepare his favorite meal
you oil your skin
you lower the light from the oil lamp
you let him enter you
as you watch his shadow shake
remember not to scream
his brother’s name.
Your mother was your first mirror. Tell me, didn’t she carry herself well enough to make you feel like a goddess?
Questions for Ada